Tag Archives: rude

The Lost Art of Saying “Thank You”

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”

Voltaire

image “Thank You”; in thoughtful and considerate families, one of the first set of words children learn as they struggle to absorb language. A phrase that signifies much more than is apparent at first glance.

Just yesterday for example, I watched as two small children exited the Bus I was on (accompanied by their mother of course), and as they left, they both turned to the Bus driver and said – “Thank You.”

“Thank You” is not some antiquated, chivalrous idea. Instead, these are the words we use to express gratitude – a kindness for a kindness. Simply put, these two words are a form of providing positive feedback. And which one of us doesn’t need positive feedback?

In my view, those who are unable, or unwilling, to express gratitude,  are generally unaware that they might as well have a sign hanging over their heads, stating:

I lack class.

I lack  empathy.

I lack humility.

Personally, I’m a firm believer in the “mirror imaging effect” – you get reflected back to you, what you give out. So, I make it a practice not to waste my time, and deplete my energy, on people who lack class. Life really is too short, to waste time on the rude and ignorant.

I can hear you saying, “but Bill, this is a tech Blog, why are you writing about good manners?” Well, here’s why.

I have a personal relationship with scores of Bloggers, and while the majority love what they do, I have yet to meet one who hasn’t been disappointed at the lack of a “Thank You”, after taking the time to provide a thoughtful and prompt answer, to assist a reader struggling with a technical computer issue.

This lack of elementary courtesy seems to becoming more of an issue than in the past. I am hearing this complaint more frequently – particularly from those tech Bloggers whose “‘real world” job is a computer technician, since they are providing technical assistance they would normally charge for.

I can only imagine the type of answer one might receive after asking a lawyer, doctor, or an auto mechanic for free advice. I think stony silence might be the likely outcome!

Let me be clear – this article is not a personal complaint. I am delighted with the community that has grown up around Tech Thoughts. In the years I have been writing this Blog, I have received much more than my share of thanks.

But the consensus seems to be, amongst my blogging associates, that far less than 50% of those that they have helped, have responded with those magic words. So do me a favor. If a Blogger has taken the time to answer your question, provided you with advice, or assisted you in solving a technical problem, say those magic words.

Hit that reply button in your email client.  Say “Thank You”. It’s easy, it’s simple, and it says more about you than you might realize.

BTW – thank you for reading this article.  Smile

42 Comments

Filed under Windows Tips and Tools

“Thank You” – What’s So Hard About That?

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”

Voltaire

image “Thank You”; in thoughtful and considerate families, one of the first set of words children learn as they struggle to absorb language. A phrase that signifies much more than is apparent at first glance.

“Thank you” is not some antiquated, chivalrous idea. Instead, these are the words we use to express gratitude – a kindness for a kindness. Simply put, these two words are a form of providing positive feedback. And which one of us doesn’t need positive feedback?

In my view, those who are unable, or unwilling, to express gratitude,  are generally unaware that they might as well have a sign hanging over their heads, stating:

I lack class

I lack  empathy

I lack humility

Personally, I’m a firm believer in the “mirror imaging effect” – you get reflected back to you, what you give out. So, I make it a practice not to waste my time, and deplete my energy, on people who lack class. Life really is too short, to waste time on the rude and ignorant.

I can hear you saying, “but Bill, this is a tech Blog, why are you writing about good manners? Well, here’s why.

I have a personal relationship with scores of Bloggers, and while the majority love what they do, I have yet to meet one who hasn’t been disappointed at the lack of a “Thank You”, after taking the time to provide a thoughtful and prompt answer, to assist a reader struggling with a technical computer issue.

This lack of elementary courtesy seems to becoming more of an issue than in the past. I am hearing this complaint more frequently – particularly from those tech Bloggers whose “‘real world” job is a computer technician, since they are providing technical assistance they would normally charge for.

I can only imagine the type of answer one might receive after asking a lawyer, doctor, or an auto mechanic for free advice. I think stony silence might be the likely outcome!

Let me be clear – this article is not a personal complaint. I am delighted with the community that has grown up around Tech Thoughts. In the year and a half I have been writing this Blog, I have received much more than my share of thanks.

But the consensus seems to be, amongst my blogging associates, that less than 50% of those that they have helped, have responded with those magic words. So do me a favor. If a Blogger has taken the time to answer your question, provided you with advice, or assisted you in solving a technical problem, say those magic words.

Hit that reply button in your email client.  Say “Thank You”. It’s easy, it’s simple, and it says more about you than you might realize.

BTW – thank you for reading this article.

If you enjoyed this article, why not subscribe to this Blog via RSS, or email? It’s easy; just click on this link and you’ll never miss another Tech Thoughts article.

11 Comments

Filed under Communication, Interconnectivity, Personal Perspective

How to Piss Off a Blogger

Those of us, who are old enough to have been part of the scene when Westerns were the most popular fare, on both TV and at the movies, are sure to remember the key words used by the “bad guy” to provoke the “hero” into a gun fight. “You’re a liar”, was the phrase which most often led to the climactic scene in which the “good guy” disposed of the “bad guy.”

image

An unwelcome experience with a comment this past weekend, in which the writer inferred that I was a liar, brought to mind this old fashioned, but common movie scenario.

I keep reading that rude, aggressive and disrespecting comments are to be expected if you are a Blogger. Fair enough; the world is full of socially inept, aggressive, and marginally functional individuals – but, to be called a liar, either directly or by implication, takes rudeness and aggressiveness to a new level.

Whether its social conditioning, or an evolutionary throwback, being called a liar almost always leads to an inevitable stress response in which discussion, civilities, and good manners, are replaced by an overwhelming urge to deal with the accuser face to face. Not reasonable, not responsible or practical, but nevertheless a common response, it seems.

For the most part, comments, on this Blog, tend to lead to interesting discussions which adds value for the reader. In almost every case, these comments are polite, civil, and non-confrontational.

Occasionally, readers will disagree with either a previous comment, or take issue with the content of an article. Again, even these differences in opinion are generally expressed in a civil manner and are likely to be non-confrontational.

Of the 4,000 + comments received on this site in the last year and a half, I can count on one hand the number that I have found to be offensive; comments that attacked me, or a previous commenter, on a personal level.

Frankly, the hallmark of those who launch a personal attack on an anonymous basis, without a physical presence, is that of a coward. Despite the assurance, readily given, that they would repeat the offensive comments, face to face; I think not.

This Blog serves as a reasonably accurate representation of who I am on a personal level. What warts I have, tend to be reflected in what I write about, and how I write.

This is my home on the Internet, albeit a public home, and just as I wouldn’t allow someone to call me a liar, or to be personally offensive to me, in my own home, I’ll be damned if I’ll allow someone to call me a liar, or to be personally offensive to me, in a Blog comment.

Reader dissent, or personal perspective, is not stifled here. This Blog has an open invitation policy for those who disagree with any content published here; in the form of a guest writer page. Dissenting opinion and diverse views, based on experience, are not only welcome, but encouraged.

Drama is best left to the movies, or the theater. I have neither the time, the patience, nor the interest, in becoming involved, at any level, in the skewed lives of those who think that aggressiveness, rudeness, or the lack of good manners, is an alternative form of expression.

Personal attacks aimed at me, guest writers, or previous commenters, have been in the past, and will continue to be – deleted.

17 Comments

Filed under Personal Perspective