My good buddy Mike (my favorite Bus driver, don’t ya know), is a great one for sending me funny emails and, I must admit – they break up the day rather nicely. Trudging through malware samples, endless software testing…… well, you know the routine – often leaves me ready for a loud guffaw – or, two.
Test your funny bone, with a sampling of Mike’s recent forwards.
Montana Welcome Sign.
Your Technical skills needed!
I’m sending this with hopes one of you will have the know-how to make this damn thing work!
If anyone of you electronic wizards knows how to connect a surround sound DVD/VCR, please let me know.
My neighbor lady keeps asking me for help and my wife is complaining about all the time I’m spending over there.
I’m really struggling here!
Here’s a photo of what her set-up looks like…
Belgian Men’s Magazine Che – gives a new dimension to babysitting. Click on the graphic to play video.
ALL GIRL BIKER BAR
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’
Best Work Boot Commercial Ever. Click on graphic to play video.
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on…
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
COSTELLO: For my office?
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.
COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?
COSTELLO: Money come s with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’………….
I rarely post anything from the lighter side of life and, on the odd occasion that I have – it’s not unusual that I’ll get a comment, or two, demanding that I stick to the “serious” stuff. Go figure!
Cracked.com – Cracked, or not?
Every now and then , I’ll reference a Cracked.com article in the Tech Thoughts Daily Net News column, under the sub-heading – Off Topic (Sort Of).
Today, for example:
I sometimes wonder, if readers might consider me to be a little “cracked”, when I shine a spotlight on a tech article from a site which is noted for both its humor, and entertainment value.
That’s not an idle question. More than once, I’ve gotten a comment along the lines of – Hey, this is a tech blog – so stick to tech – we don’t need humor here. Funny (pun not intended ), I’ve long held the view, that most people could use a hell of a lot more humor in their lives – a lot more. Why should it matter where it comes from?
Since readers can occasionally find a little humor here – turnabout seems like fair play. Why not then, refer readers to a humor site which often meshes technical expertise (believe it – these writers are good – very good), with educational value – both of which are bolstered by spicy commentary. Spicy commentary, of course, is not to everyone’s taste – but, if it helps the medicine go down – then, I’m all for it.
Sad to say – virtually none of my non-techie friends subscribe to my blog – “too complicated”, “don’t understand a thing you’re saying” – are some of the more complimentary comments. More often than not, the comments are far less complimentary.
Still, I feel that I have an obligation to continue to play the role of “tech guru”, for want of a better description. So, how to do that? If they won’t read me – for all the right reasons, I suppose – then how to hammer home the facts concerning, in this case, Google, as an example.
That’s where Cracked.com comes in. Perhaps not as scholarly an approach as main stream tech journals, but often I find – far more readable. If it helps my friends get their heads out of the clouds – if their view of Google goes from “Google is so cool” to a more realistic view, which might include – “Google is not so cool” – then, it’s met my criteria for an educational site – of a sort.
So, has it made a difference in helping me spark an interest, amongst my friends, in things technical – especially Internet security? To quote the unlovable ex-governor of Alaska – you betcha! So, thank you Cracked.com. You often help to get the message across when I can’t.
Filed under Humor, Opinion
Tagged as Bill Mullins, Cracked.com, educational value, Humor, spicy commentary, Tech Thoughts, technical expertise