Best Spam Story Ever! Thanks Pastor Mike

image Earlier this year I wrote an article on home networking “Your Electric Wiring Is a Wi-Fi Network Alternative”, which proved to be fairly popular with readers outside of North America.

Just two days ago I wrote an article “Email Spammers Are Smarter than You Think”, in which I stated – “I long ago came to the conclusion that spammers are some of the craftiest people on the planet. I say this not in admiration of what they do, but instead, how they do it”.

Then, this morning, I received the following spam email offering to provide me with a contract worth $2.5 million, provided I am prepared to engage in fraud, graft and government corruption. Now, I could use $2.5 million, but I’ll pass!

The connection between the networking article, and this carefully crafted spam email, points out how spammers can modify their criminal activities to seek out a specific target market, rather than rely only on the more general broadcast, and non-specific targeting method, we are more familiar with.

I’m posting the email in its entirety since I found it very funny, and you may too. I consider it more than ironic, that the apparent sender is a pastor, given that he is advocating fraud, graft, and corruption. Halleluiah , brother!

Dear Sir,


We are much delighted to enter into business relationship with your company of which we request for your full cooperation in order to achieve this goal.

I am a commission agent and consultant and there is a business I want to introduce to your company and if everything goes well, at the end, you will pay me 1% of the total value of the deal as commissions. Briefly, let me explain to you the nature of the concerned business. A government department in Nigeria UNIVERSAL BASIC EDUCATION NIGERIA is looking for a reliable and trustworthy company that can supply the above.

The ministry wishes to award the contract for the supplies to any reputable company in your area with proven capability to supply the above quantity items within a period of 10 months against upfront payment by telegraphic transfer 60% advance by telegraphic transfer immediately the contract is sign while is delivery is by sea to Lagos seaport within 8 months upon you/ contractors receipt of full advance payment. I am writing you this letter because I want to know whether your company has the ability to undertake the contract from for the supply of the above listed items?

Really, it is sometimes difficult to get such a big order from government of any country especially when the term of payment is 60% advance deposit after contract signing and balance 40% before shipment. The good news is that I have friends in the UNIVERSAL BASIC EDUCATION NIGERIA office of the principal buyer and these friends of mine are willing to help me to convince the top official of the ministry in Nigeria to give the contract to your company if you co-operate with me.

The co-operation I need from is to agree to compensate me with 1% of the total value of the contract if we are able to make the transaction. I depend on the success of this transaction and the commission I will receive from this transaction as my own benefits and to uplift my standard of living.

If you are interested to get this contract and if you are capable to handle the contract and willing to give me 1% of the total value of the contract, please contact me by email to enable to give you instructions on how you will apply for the contract.

As soon as you apply for the contract, I will contact my friends in the ministry for them to start underground works with the top officials of the ministry to give the contract to your firm. I am waiting for a speedy answer from you to enable show it my friends in the ministry for them to know whether it will stand a better chance of winning the contract as well on how you should prepare your tender documents.

Kindly treat urgent by confirming your interest, also send us your prices of the above products immediately by internet so that we will advice on how to prepare your tender documents.

Thanks for your kind cooperation also call me upon receipt of this mail.

Yours sincerely

Pastor. Mike Ukwu
No. 120 Brass Street
Tel: 00234-07056757161


Filed under Don't Get Hacked, Email, email scams, Interconnectivity, internet scams, Just for Laughs, Online Safety, Windows Tips and Tools

4 responses to “Best Spam Story Ever! Thanks Pastor Mike

  1. Mr. Mullins,
    Since you have opted to decline this *marvelous opportunity*, can I take them up on it?
    (I think 60% of $2.5 would uplift my standard of living quite nicely, and I have a box of old wire, junction boxes, and rusty conduit gathering dust in a corner of my garage.)

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